I packed my bags, loaded up your car and cleared everything out of the joint bank accounts.
Now, don’t act as though this comes as a complete surprise, things have been going downhill for a long time now. Okay, taking all of the money was probably a bit of a shock, but seriously I earned every last cent. God you are so dull and sex was tedious from the start.
And let’s face it, your car is a damn sight nicer than mine.
I never quite worked out how you kept getting nicer models and I just trundled along with the same old one. Some horseshit about you having to keep up appearances for work. Yeah, right.
Can I just say one more time, I feel the need, how bad the sex was. It’s your secretary I feel sorry for. All of those afternoon when the two of you sneaked off to be together in some mid priced hotel room. Poor thing. Can she really not do better than you? Maybe the thrill added something, the whole illicit nature of it.
Well that’s gone.
No need to sneak around now Jack.
Nobody cares anymore.