Don’t Make a Woman Angry (story by R.C. Peris)

They have ripped me from history like a superfluous page. I was a great queen. I had a brilliant mind and I was agile with an impeccable skill with the sword. I went into battle with my men and together we conquered all the land in the north and the west. My empire was immense. Men came to court and bowed before my presence. One such man was Daniel. I took him as a lover but I fell in love. The goddess of the forest cast a spell on me. I refused to marry him as I didn’t want to dilute my power. I became pregnant in the spring and told my kingdom the child was a gift the gods. The warriors and lords accepted this in my presence but they knew about Daniel. They all knew about Daniel. The child was Daniel’s. Daniel became enraged when I told him about my explanation of the child. I soothed him and told him that a child of the gods would only increase my power.

In the fall, when my belly was enormous, the giants and peoples of the west struck a blow at our kingdom and captured land. The lords said we had to go to war. I refused because of the pregnancy. A few days later, I received a letter demanding that I defeat a giant or else three captured lords would be murdered and thousands of peasants rounded up and burned in a pit. I accepted the challenge. I had to ride to the battlefield in a carriage as riding astride a horse was unbearable to my pregnant belly.

When I arrived at the battlefield I exclaimed, “I will defeat your giant but I will curse you and all men forever.”

The conquering king laughed as the giant thudded onto the field. He was immense and when he saw the bloom of my pregnancy he laughed. In my pocket was a child toy. It was a gift from a witch for my baby. It was a small catapult and you placed a marble in it and it flung the marble very fast across a wide expanse. I loaded the catapult as the giant approached and then I flung the marble and it hit the giant in the forehead. The giant went bug-eyed and then collapsed. The conquering king was outraged and then charged to attack me but I was able to chop off his head with my sword. All my men cheered but I collapsed to the ground in pain. I was in labor. The baby was too early. I birthed a stillborn on the battlefield. I was outraged and cursed all warriors, everywhere, in battle.

“When you go to battle you will suffer not only in body but of mind. War will ruin your mind and soul. You will suffer as I have suffered,” I cried.

That was the day my name disappeared from the history texts. Morrigan.

I laugh from the spirit realm as I watch men wage stupid wars across all the land and over the centuries. War is brutal and I made it so. Perhaps one day men will learn not to enrage a woman.


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