Johnny Cash Ruined My Love Life (bp coyle)

She is the sweetest girl I have ever met. And hot. So hot. She is clever and funny and interesting. And hot, did I mention that? Really hot. She likes me, she really does. No idea why. So why aren’t I with her now? you ask. Why am I sitting on a barstool in this dive talking to a total stranger when I could be with the girl I love? The seriously hot girl who seems to love me too? Yeah, that’s a bloody good question alright.

You see, she likes Johnny Cash. I used to like Johnny Cash, but not the way she likes Johnny Cash. She listens to him all day, everyday. Song after song. There are worse thing she could listen to you say. True. Very true. Though she often puts one song on repeat and that’s it for the day, for the weekend. ‘Ring of Fire’ twenty times in a row. ‘Jackson’ two dozen times. Today I heard ‘A Boy Named Sue’ thirty eight times. I had to leave. I can take no more. Sure, I’ll have another beer. Why not? I honestly don’t think I can ever go back.

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