For fuck sake. Monday again. The alarm didn’t go off. I woke up fifteen minutes late. I yelled at Katie and Johnny to get up.
“We’re running late. Hurry up and get dressed.” I pulled them by their legs out of bed.
I got in the shower. I was out of shampoo so I washed my hair with shower gel. I dried off and got dressed. My favorite white blouse was missing a button so I put on a blue one that was too tight. It fit fifteen pounds ago. I put makeup on but it was streaky so I rubbed most of it off. I rushed down the stairs and screamed at the kids to hurry up. I started breakfast and nodded off while making the eggs. The eggs burnt.
“Shit, shit, shit. I hate Mondays. So many shitty things to deal with.” I dumped the eggs and poured cereal. The milk was sour. I gave the kids yogurt and saltine crackers. As they ate, I made a list of things to buy. At the top of the list was bullets. I needed more bullets. There were only three rounds left in my rifle.
“Let’s go,” I yelled. They put on their jackets and I lifted the rifle. “Alright. You know the drill. Stay alert, look around, stay behind me, yell if you see something. Got it?” The kids nodded.
I opened the door slowly. It was a cold morning. I sniffed the air. I could smell my hyacinths. I didn’t detect a fetid animal smell. I pressed my key fob to unlock the car door.
“Careful kids.” I led them quickly to the car. I saw a shadow emerge from my right side. I immediately raised the rifle and prepared to shoot.
“Meow.” It was Mrs. Riley’s cat. I sighed.
I drove the kids to school. They were greeted by armed guards. The kids were safe at school. The whole school was surrounded by electric wire. It was the safest place around. I kissed the kids. I knew they would be safe.
I drove to the train station. Every day I took the 7:43 AM train to the city. There was a cluster of people standing on the platform. Each one was carrying a rifle. I checked the ground for animal droppings and scanned the parking lot. No cheetahs, lions, tigers or bears were visible. I sighed. Maybe this Monday, even though it started terribly, I won’t have to run for my life.
I began walking and then I heard a roar. It was a cheetah. His black fur rippled with a blue sheen. He licked his teeth. I thought I saw an eyelid stuck in his front tooth. I ran. I didn’t have time to prepare the rifle. I ran and screamed and the people on the platform began aiming their rifles. An older man with white hair pointed his rifle and fired. I heard a violent pop and then a whimper. The cheetah was wounded and hopefully dying.
“Thanks,” I said.
“I remember the time when we were out of the food chain. Most people used to die in a bed. Now, most people die from being eaten.”
I nodded. “It’s just another shitty thing to deal with. Running for your life on the way to work. I hate Mondays.”
“A tiger chased me on Saturday. Made the whole weekend shitty,” he said.
“I guess every day is shitty when you are in the food chain.”
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