She came to us damaged. Tiny, fragile and beautiful, but something had been broken inside. There were times when we thought she was better, that the hurt had been forgotten. Then out of nowhere she would explode, at me, at her mother, a friend, a passing stranger. It never made sense, the things that upset her. But how can anyone ever understand? It is not uncommon with people who foster or adopt. You just don’t know what has happened before the child enters your life. Often the child does not know herself.
We send her to therapy and it helped. Or it seemed to help until the next episode. We went to counseling as a family. I know she loves us, I know she does not want to hurt us even when she is.
I spoke to a couple in a similar position and the husband said his adopted son was just born to be bad. Maybe that was why he was given away in the first place. His wife cried when he said those words. But she did not contradict him.
I don’t believe that. We are all born good, life makes us go wrong.