Music composed by Beethoven performed by Risa Peris
that’s all you need sometimes
a suggestion of death
like upselling at fast food joints
do you want fries with that
death…
you see it on TVs and movies
a wreck of bodies like debris
just trash collecting and stinking
it’s imaginary that way
unreal real, real unreal
it’s in books too
terrible upheaval and pain
doesn’t seem as bad in books
it’s all learning in books
then mama…
tranquilizer haze, spittle on a frown
-I won’t be here when you get back
what the fuck do you do at 5
cry or gobble the sweets in the cabinets
tell a neighbor?
you hate the neighbors, they hate you
the guy next door always hugging you
then Kristi…
-My father touches me
I didn’t really hear her
why would I listen
she could have said she was orange
or from the planet of fuckall
fuzz in my head and noise
squawking like a volley of senile crows
I had my own problems…
deep rash of something bad
it drained the breath
need to nurse blue Kool Aid from a Star Wars glass
fall asleep as Benny Hill ogles matronly bras
that was my escape…
a dirty man coaxing nudity
I walked away from her
I had my own problems…
a week later she was dead
Kristi, Kristi, Kristi…
or was it Susan?
was it Saturday, no Sunday
mama read the article from the Sun
inky newspaper about matrimony
maybe stories about other countries
panama, el Salvador, iran contra
all of it was stupid to me
-Her father must have been touching her
staring into a plate of oily fried rice
slivered ham slices, tiny chopped onions
the rice quivered like maggots about to bust
about to expel chunky vomit
-Did you hear me?
that squawking again…
I wanted to bash my head on a salty carrick.
-Did your daddy touch you?
must have happened to mama
why else tell a kid about offing yourself
clear strike across the cheek, skin encased bone
quick blossom of heat and fear
scurrying off in Smurf shoes with Velcro snaps
rainbow bike lying in slimy water
santa claus had gifted it and I cried
Crossed a thin watered ditch with narrow frogs
A car was coming, just around the turn
Ice cream licking Asian man watching swirls melt
I steered right into the dull fender
Seeing his mouth go, slicked with sweet
“Nooooooooo.”
That’s all you need sometimes, a suggestion of death.
Earthquake thundering wings fluttering all around me
Angels?
A crow on a power line, glassy eye rolling
No angels, a dinosaur era missive
All becomes extinct.
THE END